For almost fifteen years now we have been “chasing symptoms.”
For almost fifteen years many, though not all, doctors have mostly eyed me as if I were a psych patient.
And after almost fifteen years of that, I am one.
Depressive episodes have been only one part of the puzzle. But they are more frequent and more intense with each passing year.
I/we/it hit an all time low - physically and mentally/emotionally - this winter.
I was certain I was finally being hit with a major MS exacerbation.
Because when a former physician casually suggests that “Maybe someday you’ll end up with an MS diagnosis,” and then your symptoms spiral out of control to include spasticity, major cognitive dysfunction (there were days I couldn’t remember my phone number or social security number), altered gait - well - you kind of feel this “catch” in your throat.
And when the neurologist you see says things like, “I hear that a lot” in response to really strange symptoms and tells you some of your symptoms are pretty much “MS specific,” well…you wonder if you’re actually leaving Limbo.
Only to find you are really just entering Limbo when a brain MRI and a cervical spine MRI come back clean - at least in regard to MS.
And then that doc recommends you move on to a university neurology program where they will be more well-versed in “rare neuro-degenerative diseases.”
Yet, you find yourself very, very, very slowly getting better.
Sort of.
This blog records my journey.
Or the most recent travels, anyway.
“In This Storm” has two purposes:
1. To keep friends and family updated.
and
2. As an online clearinghouse of my information for me. I can always print out my history, etc. for doctor’s appointments, etc. because I can always find them.
Sometimes this place is cathartic for me.
Sometimes I find I have encouraged someone on their own path along the way.
And it doesn’t get much better than that.
ALWAYS~
It is my deepest desire to glorify God in all things.
even in the storms…
In Christ alone,
Kari
Kari Z. Murphy lives outside Richmond, Virginia with her husband and two daughters. Formerly an elementary public school teacher, she is finding how little she knows about education in the midst of homeschooling and home discipling her children. Kari has a passion for ministering in practical ways, as well as offering grace, hope, and encouragement to the hurting. She regularly shares her own weaknesses (sometimes on purpose), and God’s strength in their midst, here on her blog.
